The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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