I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
