my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize