You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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