NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
