I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize