Plan B is the new Plan A
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
