ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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