before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
