I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
