He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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