I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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