I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
