once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
