The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i think i have two assholes
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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