Already got asked if we're dating
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
