I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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