i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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