my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
