There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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