he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
