The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize