I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
