Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
