We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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