apparently the secret to your success is patron
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
