So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
