NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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