wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
