i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
