Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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