We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
