ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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