I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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