I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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