Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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