im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
