her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Less talking, more tequila
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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