what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
