Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
