I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
