hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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