I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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