I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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