Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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