Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
