It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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