he shaved USA in his pubs
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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