This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
