He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
