He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
