I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
