he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
