Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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