had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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