id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
