Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
