distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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