Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
