In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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