He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
