We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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