Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize