addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
