I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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